又要變老了。
年紀越大,日子就過的越快
為什麼一年一下子就過了?

很幸運的,今年順利的轉學到UC Davis。這也是我到美國第一年許下的生日願望之一,雖然花了三年的時間才完成轉到UC大學的願望,但還是心存感激這一路上得到許多人的幫助來完成我的願望。

這學期上的課都是新生會上的通識課,所以身旁幾乎都是19、20歲的「年輕人」,總是會不禁覺得自己「老」很多。好在我看起來比實際年紀小,混在其中假裝大一生也不會有人發現,倒是以前在師大大一進去的時候就被室友誤以為是學姐,現在年紀越大卻看起來越年輕,也算是因禍得福嗎?

雖然總是抱怨生日的到來而讓自己又老了一歲,但還是想起二十幾年前的今天,媽媽好不容易的把我生下,然後爸媽一點一點的把我拉拔長大,還要忍受我的叛逆和脾氣,忍受我的情緒化和冷言冷語,可是,他們還是付出了他們所有的愛,讓我幾乎無憂無慮的成長,讓我受教育,讓我認識這世界上美好的事物。而當時的他們,也不過跟現在的我同年紀。

實在很難想像我現在就有一個小孩,而他/她可能長得像我,愛哭鬧,晚上不睡覺,有我的怪脾氣,還要擔心他/她餓肚子或生病,回想起來,爸媽真的很偉大。

過去的我總聽膩了他們不斷重複我小時候「難帶」的事情,討厭他們半抱怨著我。而最近,只要想到在我這樣的年紀就有一個我,花費了爸媽的年輕歲月在我身上。當我在上大學的時候,他們要努力賺錢養活我,當我跟朋友出去玩樂的時候,他們要餵我、幫我換尿片。應該要抱怨的,因為如果是我也會抱怨。

我想,我開始學會體諒的吧。
我開始體諒爸媽的辛苦和對我的嘮叨。雖然是經過了二十幾年才明白這樣簡單的事情,但「覺得為時已晚的時候,恰恰是最早的時候。」

以前在台北念書時很少打電話回家,最近住外面總不時打電話回家,讓爸媽知道自己的近況。雖然我們很少把愛說出口,但我們心裡都明白,我們很愛對方。

在美國雖然接受了不少個人主義的教育,但我發現,我還是很難擺脫集體主義的思維。對我來說,家庭還是扮演了重要的角色,雖然住在家裡的時候總想著到外面住享受自由,當真正實現的時候卻不捨離開家庭。

應該是關於生日快樂的網誌卻打了很多奇怪的話。
前幾天不小心切到左手食指,幾乎把一塊肉都給切下來了,也算是自己給自己印象深刻的生日禮物吧。
這個結尾更奇怪。


--
I’m getting older again.
Time seems flying faster when you’re older.
Why a year passed so fast?

Fortunately, I transferred to UC Davis this year. That was one of my birthday wishes on my first birthday in the US. Although it took me three years to accomplish the wish of transferring to the UC University, I appreciate all the assists from everyone who helped me on my way to achieve the goal.

I’m taking the general education courses that most freshmen are taking, so I’m surrounded with nineteen or twenty-year-old “young folks,” which makes me feel older. However, the good thing is I look younger than my real age, so no one will find out my real age if I want to pretend I’m a freshman. When I was studying in the university back in Taiwan, my roommate thought I was a senior when she first saw me, but now it seems like I look younger while getting older, is it a blessing in disguise?

I always complain about my birthday coming because it makes me one year older, but I think of the same day twenty something years ago when my mom gave birth to me. She suffered while giving birth, and my parents raised me little by little. What’s more, they had to bear my bad temper, cold words, treason, and emotion. However, they still gave me all their love. They let me grow up happily, let me get educated, let me know everything wonderful in the world, and they were just about the same age as me right now.

It is so hard to image I have a child now. S/he probably looks like me, likes to cry, has my bad temper, and doesn’t sleep at nights. I have to worry if s/he gets hungry or sick. When I think of these details, I realize my parents are really great.

I hated listening to my parents talking about how hard to raise me because I hated the way they complained about me. However, when I think of my parents had a “little me” at my age, spending all their best and wonderful ages on me, I feel sorry. When I go to the university, they had to work hard and make money to raise me; when I go to hang out with friends, they had to feed me and change my diaper. They should complain. I would complain if I were them.

I think, I start learning to consider them more.
I consider their hard work and chatter as the way they show their love to me. It took me twenty something years to understand such a simple thing, but “It is actually earliest time when you think it’s late.”

I didn’t call my parents often while I was studying in Taipei, but I call them very often now to let them know how I am. Even though we don’t say “love” much, we all know we love each other very much.

I received some education about individualism in the US, but I found that it’s hard for me to get rid of collectivism. For me, family truly plays an important role. Though I always wanted to live outside by myself to enjoy freedom, I didn’t want to leave the family when the freedom came true.

This should be about “Happy Birthday,” but I typed some weird things.
I cut my left index finger several days ago, and one piece of meat on the index finger was “almost” gone. This is probably an impressive birthday gift for me this year.
Alright, the ending is weirder.


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